You Have to Hear This Sweet Old Lady's Self-produced Christmas CD I Found

Filed under: Humor, Music, Exclusives

A buddy of mine was canvassing his Pittsburgh neighborhood for a local political candidate along with a former local TV news anchorman. They came upon an sweet little old lady's house.

"Hey, I know you," she said to the anchorman.

They gave her the requisite spiel about their candidate.

"Yinz guys want a cookie? They call me the cookie lady."

They obliged.

"You know, I'm a bit of an entertainer myself."

"Is that so?" replied the anchorman. "How about singing something for us?"

She sang an off-key song about Christmas. My friend was dying.

"Do you have anything recorded?"

"Oh yes."

She handed him a CD, and I've posted my five favorite tracks here. An Urlesque Exclusive Leak. It's about 11 months early, but it'll put you in the spirit.

Behold: "A Cookie Lady Christmas."

Oh My, It's Christmas

We begin with this animal-themed Christmas song. Was it recorded yesterday? Fifty years ago? It sounds like an old legend. But then you start thinking, "But wait ... it can only be as old as CD burners." Also, who wears a silk hat?

Candy Canes

It's nice to hear some love for non-peppermint candy canes.

Christmas Is Coming (Be Real Good)

The Pittsburgh accent is strong right out of the gate on this one. "Dahn through the chimney." You don't hear this thick regional accent so often any more. Each generation loses a bit of that charm. I'm from Pittsburgh so I nostalgia'd pretty hard.

Green and Golden Garden

Her complete disregard for matching the Casio beats with her organ notes is super strong here. It's aggressively disorienting.

Reindeer (Santa Is Coming by Car)

Don't you just want to go over to her house and eat cookies? I bet she'd love nothing more than to let you pick from an array of cookies on a tray that she holds out to you while you sit in her plastic-covered La-Z-Boy.

 

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